A Butterfly in Winter

A Brief Recap on Winter 2023

This winter is feeling long. It’s been unusual in that frigid temperatures began in November, bringing consecutive days where the thermometer repeatedly dipped like a potato chip into a tasty spread. Only not quite as fun or delicious. Especially with wind chill.

December continued in this way until we were gifted a brief warm up just after Christmas that lasted into January. During this traditionally frosty month, we experienced a copious amount of rain in the valley instead of the usual snow. It seems November and January did a do si do on us. Switching places for fun and japes.

But not so fast!

By the end of January the icy cold returned and continues to linger deep into February.

Frozen Utah Lake

Utah Lake, which in the recent past has had only has one good freeze, if that, had several this past year. In fact, it was so solid that on the day before Christmas eve, Christine, my fellow wanderer and podcast partner in crime,  and I were able to venture a mile out onto its solid surface.  You can see Christine there in the Panorama above looking back towards the distant shoreline.

Storksbill Blooming
Storksbill Blooms Feb 2022

Usually, by late February, we see a substantial if  gradual warm up, with days climbing into the 40s on a more regular basis. Often,  purple Storksbill and tiny four petaled Monkeyflower will be making a happy appearance as spring equinox grows ever near. Not so this year. Just this week,  we got another 6 inches of snow in the valley.  When wandering,  any exposed skin is subject to being slapped scarlet by the extra long whip of this winter’s  coat tails this year.

winter wear
Lots of layers, that’s what my fashion statement is here.

Every time the sun comes out, however, I keep hope that it will stay and prove to me that winter hasn’t planned to take up permanent residence just to spite my desire to dis-bundle more permanently from my winter wardrobe. This is that ever so posh way of dressing that I refer to as “the onioning” with its many, many layers of defense against the bitter weather.

Charming, no?

Messy for certain, as I peel of each snow soaked outer layer and sweat soaked inner layer. Oh how I long for the days of tank tops and sunshine on my shoulders.

And Now For the Good Part

I have been thinking on this blog for a while. And like the feature of this title, my brain has flitted and danced around it never quite lighting long enough to write it. But at last I have made myself sit and actually put these words to ground.

During the ubiquitous monochrome of winter gray, I miss the beauty of the butterfly; their lovely ephemeral existence in a variety of palates; their crack head flights that never seem to take a direction for more than few seconds; these wind-borne blooms mirroring their earth anchored hosts. Especially, in the midst of this long winter, I take a little comfort in reminding myself of something that I just learned this past year; that just over there, in that quilt patch of oaks, or in that cozy pile of leaves protected by a rocky overhang, one of these fully winged creatures might be tucked into a cozy crevice dreaming, along with me, of spring.

A full grown butterfly, you might be asking?

Yes, a fully grown, winged out butterfly.

Monarch Butterfly
Monarch Butterfly

Of course, many butterfly species winter over as pupa with a nice sturdy chrysalis to protect them from winter’s brutal hand, or as larvae buried into a warm cradle of soil. These await the song of the sun to dance them into and or through metamorphosis. Other species take wing in late summer, such as Monarchs, Admirals and Painted Ladies, migrating smartly to warmer places. (How I would like to follow them one year)!

Mourning Cloak Butterfly
Mourning Cloak Butterfly

But a few, including one of my very favorite species, Nymphalis Antiopa, or the Mourning Cloak, winter over as adults, tucked into tree bark, or nestled in old logs, or under a comforter of leaf debris. Here they will hibernate until the temperatures climb to an appropriate degree. For the Mourning Cloak, earliest of the butterflies to awaken from a winter’s slumber, this can be as low as 50 degrees.

Mourning Cloak Cake
My birthday cake made by my daughter, Sienna, this year…I ate and ate and ate!!!

These ingenious creatures have developed a clever adaptation. At the end of summer, they will go into a brief state of estivation. During this period the butterfly will lower it’s body temperature and metabolism, after procuring itself in a protected area, for a short period of time – about a month or so. Afterwards, the Mourning Cloak  will re-emerge to make a surprise appearance in late fall, (ta da)! It’s mission is now to eat and eat and eat in preparation for the second, longer dormancy of overwintering. Kind of like what we do in late fall with all of the holidays and festivals. Only we don’t get to sleep it off over the dark and cold months, no fair!

When the temperature begins to drop into and below 40 degrees,  the Mourning Cloak will go into a true state of hibernation. Unlike mammals who enter this state, however, they are not awakened by an increase in the hours of daylight, but rather by an increase in temperature.  This is why you might occasionally see one in late February or Early March here in Northern Utah. (Yes, please).

Hoar Frost
Hoar frost is everywhere in the winter in Utah

When freezing temperatures arrive, these butterfly folk essentially become  tiny little insect popsicles with a secret, magic ingredient. Morning cloaks are able to reduce the amount of water in their blood and thicken it with glycerol, sorbitol, and other agents. Together, these act as a form of organic antifreeze which is similar to the antifreeze we pour into car radiators. This lifesaving trick keeps their tissues from forming damaging ice crystals. In this way, Mourning Cloaks can withstand temperatures down to minus eighty degrees. 

These winged miracles are a demonstration in resilience. Furthermore, they live relatively long lives for their kind. Along with their fellow overwintering nyphalis kin, the Angel Wing and the Comma butterfly, these insects can reach up to a ripe old age of 10-11 months. Which in human years is a cagillion years old…probably.

It may have have seemed incongruent, when first reading the title of this blog: A Butterfly in Winter; but now you know this is no myth. Butterflies remain with us even in the heart of this sometimes brutal season.

A Butterfly by Any Other Name…

For me this winter started out in a very strange place. I’ve participated in in two protests, due to an indirect involvement I had in a family court trial that revolves around a broken and  corrupt system. You can read about it on international blogger and advocate, Tina Swithen’s blog Onemomsbattle.  You can also read about it here in this article from ProPublica.

I personally witnessed, what seemed to me, abusive and manipulative behavior from the G.A.L. involved in this case; watched in shock and frustration as an affidavit I wrote in defense of a contempt charge that had been filed against the mother was deliberately misconstrued and out and out lied about in court by the abusive(several substantiated claims by DCFS) father’s lawyer. I  further observed the strange behavior and suggestions of the presiding judge at this same trial. This included a recommendation for starving children out of their rooms! I kid you not. I hope you will take time to read through the blog and article highlighted above in which you find more details about this story.

All of this made me feel like we must have entered another dimension  because it seemed so outlandish and obviously wrong.  But sadly, these same type of things have happened before in this court;  Utah’s 4th district, Provo, not to mention in courts all over the country who haven’t yet adopted Kayden’s Law .  I am hopeful that through this protest, our legislature may take a serious look at this issue and adopt this protection for the sake of this family and many others here in Utah.

This winter I have written several government officials  in regards to these injustices as well as to express my dismay at the mal-advised bills that are passing into legislation, namely Senate Bill 16 in Utah which bans gender affirming care for transgender youth.  I encourage all to read this article released in Scientific American magazine in May of 2022 explaining how trans affirming care has shown across the board to lead to happier, healthier lives for this population.

arrow flag
My trans-daughter Arrow

This is very personal to me as I am a mom of a trans daughter and I deeply am affected by these bills which  seem based on, at best, a misplaced concern and at worst fear and hate,  and not at all upon actual peer reviewed science, or what is wanted or needed by this population. The world seems much darker to me since I have become aware of these terrible situations, neither of which is limited to the state of Utah. I admit I have felt disheartened often throughout this correspondingly long winter.

Nature has always been my place of solace, my place of stillness and my place of deep instruction.  To me the butterfly represents many significant concepts and archetypes as it has to peoples across time place. 

To see a butterfly is to see a creature of incredible beauty and imagination, a creature that defies form and label in its miraculous metamorphosis, a creature who is fragile but holds a surprising resilience; like the children who are caught in and survive the web of evil and abuse known as “reunification therapy” and the “alienation” industry; Like the transgender population who personify transformation and who show us  how life takes form in so many varieties all equal in validity and beauty. 

To think of a Butterfly in Winter is to think of these things. It is to remember that the creative power to chose a better way remains with us. It is that unlikely loveliness, that delicate promise of hope sheltering in the human heart – enduring.

Read more about and or to show support for the kids and family who I protested in support of below:

https://www.tyandbrynsarmy.com/

https://www.tiktok.com/tag/tyandbrynsarmy

#justicefortyandbryn

#Onemomsbattle

#mendingmindsvilliage

Twitch: @stupid_flipper

Happy end of winter wandering,

Juni-Jen

 

An Inventory, an Invocation on the Advent of Spring 2022

March 2022

I have struggled this month, to find words to fit on a page. Possibly like many others, I feel a sort of shock into silence at the state of things that are occurring in our world right now.

It is hard not to feel the collective stress, deep sadness and near helpless  empathy for the suffering of nations.

And while I realize that most days, somewhere in the world, there is warring between humans, with the current clash between Russia and Ukraine, I feel this drag towards a potential global conflict. It is not prophesy, just an undercurrent of things that might be. And I continually pray will not.

I have many thoughts that swirl.

I wonder about the human condition; If we as a species, on this beautiful living planet, have ever really evolved beyond base passions: greed, lust for power, desire to dominate.

I know some might go on about complexities.

And I get it. Such situations are knotted up with economies, old alliances, and balances of power that have been twisting and turning for years before they reach a flashpoint that breeds such volatility.

Ultimately, though, the behavior of the major players remains the same as that of the bullies in the school yard. Only now instead of whispered threats and sideways punches, weapons of mass destruction are hurled about as carelessly as spit wads.

Tragically, for the people who are caught in the crossfire, the cause will never be equal  to the consequence.  No amount of apologies, money, or retributions can restore the lives that are lost.

An Inventory, An Invocation

Even under all this upheaval, I continue to find solace, beauty and stillness in wandering. In escaping from the constructed world, into a more authentic space; Nature, who’s endless creation and abundance leaves me equally as speechless, but with wonder and beauty rather than terror, and depression.

White Capped Sparrow
White Capped Sparrow

Walking along Utah lake, I revel in a cacophony of birdsong: The red wing blackbird, spotted towhee, the white capped sparrow. Sweet is the sing song of their gossip as they perch  and peak out at me  from a sway of pussy willows.

Beneath the cottonwood, pairs of ring necked doves court and coo, dipping like gentlemen at a ball.

A single pelican drifts in the shallows; a cumulus cloud puffed and aloof, shadowing a din of ducks and squabbling gulls.

Over head, three sand cranes wing their way towards the southern shore. It is a graceful ballet of long necks and legs, wing-borne, I think.

So much life returning.

And yes, even the midgefly, followed sooner than later by their vampiric cousins (mosquito) – love them or not, are slowly unpacking their campers, ready to make the beaches home and nursery once again.

Red Tail Hawk
Red Tail Hawk near nest in Dry Canyon

In the hills, red tailed hawk collide, tumbling towards earth until just at the last minute they release.  Dangerous and dizzying, and completely exhilarating, they play the mating game. Powerful calls echo through the greening canyons where nests hold precious new life.

Purple corksbill, yellow monkeyflower, butterwort, and whitlow grass blooms, mirror the many petaled sun ascending towards its summer throne. Soon they will be joined by camus, sweet pea, doe lily, and the  luminous little blues that flower beneath the budding gamble oak and maple.

Squirrels scramble up the still bare branches and scold passers by. “Don’t get too close to my babies”!  These fierce little bushy tails chirp.

Heavy hoof prints, of pregnant deer, big horned sheep and mountain goat dot the hillsides, still muddy with melted snow.  Soon a trail of smaller prints will follow.

Walking along these trails I welcome the white sulfer, california tortoishell and blue skipper butterfly,  to be joined by many other butterfly folk, delighting the eye of ALL children – young and old. It is hard to be unhappy in such company.

First Week of Spring 20220
First Week of Spring 20220

Life is waking from its winters slumber…the hum of the earth is rising. It is a song older than time that dances this world into being each spring.

Again, again!

Such symphony, remains unbroken,  undeterred and unbothered by the dissonance of mankind.

It is this tenacity, this consistency that soothes me…to know that humans aren’t in charge, after all,  is comforting.

As of today, I don’t put much faith and or trust in humans as a species. We are too driven, it seems, by primal fears…though I keep hoping that one day, the human mind will enlighten enough to bring about a balance within the  heart; Such that the destruction of each-other or that of another species or of an ecosystem will no longer seem needful and or acceptable as a means to survival.

This is my invocation, an invitation towards finding a way to make this possible.

In the meantime, individually,  we can show support for each other and for the other beings that inhabit this planet. One way we cant do that is by volunteering with  or sending donations to  reputable organizations, that are personally meaningful. Below is a small list of the organizations that I support.  🙂  Feel free to share ways and places you support your communities by commenting on this blog post. 

As always, happy, and peaceful, wandering.

A list of reputable places  to help the people of Ukraine

Conserve Utah Valley   is a non-profit 501(c)(3) organization committed to protecting and sustaining the treasured canyons, foothills, open spaces, and waters of Utah Valley.  Conserve Utah Valley seeks to work collaboratively with all levels of government, the business community, and individuals to preserve spaces that add so much to our quality of life.

Sign the Don’t Pave Utah Lake Petition HERE

Hawk Watch International The mission of HawkWatch International is to conserve our environment through education, long-term monitoring, and scientific research on raptors as indicators of ecosystem health. 

Mama Dragons     Mama Dragons is a nonprofit 501(c)3 organization that supports, educates, and empowers mothers of LGBTQ children. Since 2013, it has grown from just a handful of moms to an organization that now supports over 7,000 mothers. Mama Dragons’ focus is on providing safe online spaces and educational programs where mothers can learn and connect with other Mama Dragons traveling similar paths as they learn accepting and affirming parenting practices that can help prevent LGBTQ youth suicide, depression, and homelessness.

 

 

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